Category: Sneaker Saturday

College football rankings that will be obsolete within 24 hours

Today is conference championship Saturday, which is a great excuse to stay at home and watch too much football.

Eyes across the nation will be glued to the SEC, ACC and B1G games to see who will make the College Football Playoff. That’s both a good and a bad thing.

The inherent problem with college sports is that the postseason is so subjective. There too many teams competing for too few spots.

One way to fix this would be a universal scheduling system handed down from the NCAA big wigs, but that seems like a pipe dream. In an ideal world, each conference champion could then be seeded into a 10-team playoff.

But for now, we’re stuck with the idea of a committee getting together and trying to determine who the four “best” teams are. There is all sorts of criteria, but it’s still pretty subjective.

So before tonight’s games change everything, I’m going to give you my top four seeds.

1. Alabama

When Alabama lost this season, there was an excitement in the air. Alabama was out. Maybe this was the year we’d see someone else come out of the SEC. Maybe we’d have some variety.

Nope.

Alabama is the best team in the country from the best conference in the country. They deserve the top seed in the College Football Playoff.

2. Oklahoma

Oklahoma is an incredible offensive powerhouse. Baker Mayfield leads a unit that averages nearly 46 points per game. Even in the Big 12, that’s pretty special.

Oklahoma does the football equivalent of getting buckets, and for that, they get the second seed.

3. Ohio State

This is probably a controversial pick. Ohio State is a long shot to make the playoff since they’re not playing in the B1G Championship Game. The truth is, though, Iowa is the fourth-best team in the conference. I’m pretty sure the Hawkeyes played my high school at some point this season.

Michigan has three losses, so they’re out. That leaves Michigan State and Ohio State. Sparty played a tougher schedule, but Ohio State has better numbers (better than Bama!). In the end, I’m going to go with the team that didn’t lose to Nebraska.

4. Clemson

The ACC is the weakest of the 5 big conferences, but an undefeated Clemson is better than a two-loss Stanford. Clemson’s reward for a perfect season is getting Alabama in the first round.

Song for when tonight’s games ruin your rankings

Get Hype Game of the Night!

Michigan St. vs. Iowa – 8:17 p.m. – Fox

Because life is imperfect and unfair, the winner of this game will got to the College Football Playoff. You might as well watch.

Hard out here for a commish

Okay, this is probably the last link I’ll post tonight.

You see, I’m the commissioner of what are now four fantasy sports leagues, and it’s a lot more work than you’d think it would be. I love playing all kinds of fantasy sports, but you need to put the effort in to convince enough of your friends to sign up. No one likes playing with strangers.

Strangers are scary.

So that’s why I’m posting so many links here, on Facebook, and Twitter. I just want to share something I enjoy with all of my friends. You don’t even have to play, just sign up so I can play.

Please. I need you.

Fantasy hockey link

https://yho.com/nhl?l=40876&k=9b2701026b819384&ikey=dc7b4a6f44b54ae6

Fantasy basketball link

https://yho.com/nba?l=20258&k=d6ab1cf2ac51f415&ikey=c838d80a4dc6700d

Song for when you’re wondering what Lil Jon is up to

Was wrestling good last night?

Yes.

Get Hype Game of the Night!

14 LSU vs. 25 Mississippi St. — 9:15 p.m. — ESPN

This is LSU’s season opener, since their first game was cancelled by lightning.

Mock Draft Madness

It’s almost fantasy football season (and real football season, I guess), and I could not be more hyped to draft a team. I’ve mentioned before that my favorite days of the year are dunk contest day and fantasy draft day.

And with no dunks in sight and my draft day being moved back, I guess I’ll just have to settle for mock drafts. In fact, I’ve gone a little crazy with the mock drafts.

I don’t know where I’ll be drafting yet so I have to be prepared for every position. Below I’ll display 12 teams, one from each spot in the draft order, to see what you guys think.

Team 1

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Tom Brady
  • Colin Kaepernick

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Adrian Peterson
  • DeMarco Murray
  • Giovani Bernard

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Alshon Jeffery
  • Eric Decker
  • Marques Colston
  • Nelson Agholor

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Travis Kelce
  • Eric Ebron

Kicker (2/1)

  • Matt Prater
  • Nick Novak

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Bills Def
  • Lions Def

Team 2

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Cam Newton
  • Philip Rivers

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Frank Gore
  • Alfred Morris
  • Danny Woodhead

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Antonio Brown
  • Victor Cruz
  • Sammy Watkins
  • Torrey Smith

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Greg Olsen
  • Jared Cook

Kicker (2/1)

  • Cody Parkey
  • Adam Vinatieri

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Seahawks Def
  • Bengals Def

Team 3

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Peyton Manning
  • Jameis Winston

Running Backs (3/2)

  • LeVeon Bell
  • Mark Ingram
  • Doug Martin

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • AJ Green
  • Davante Adams
  • John Brown
  • Larry Fitzgerald

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Antonio Gates
  • Austin SeferianJenkins

Kicker (2/1)

  • Stephen Gostkowski
  • Steven Hauschka

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Rams Def
  • Buccaneers Def

Team 4

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Andrew Luck
  • Jay Cutler

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Eddie Lacy
  • Carlos Hyde
  • Isaiah Crowell

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • DeAndre Hopkins
  • Steve Smith
  • Michael Floyd
  • Charles Johnson

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Jimmy Graham
  • Coby Fleener

Kicker (2/1)

  • Matt Bryant
  • Josh Brown

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Patriots Def
  • Colts Def

Team 5

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Aaron Rodgers
  • Carson Palmer

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Marshawn Lynch
  • Lamar Miller
  • Rashad Jennings

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Andre Johnson
  • Jordan Matthews
  • Martavis Bryant
  • Pierre Garcon

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Zach Ertz
  • Vernon Davis

Kicker (2/1)

  • Mason Crosby
  • Chandler Catanzaro

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Eagles Def
  • Dolphins Def

Team 6

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Russell Wilson
  • Joe Flacco

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Jamaal Charles
  • Justin Forsett
  • Ameer Abdullah

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Mike Evans
  • Jeremy Maclin
  • Allen Robinson
  • Terrance Williams

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Jordan Cameron
  • Larry Donnell

Kicker (2/1)

  • Garrett Hartley
  • Caleb Sturgis

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • 49ers Def
  • Vikings Def

Team 7

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Tony Romo
  • Sam Bradford

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Matt Forte
  • Melvin Gordon
  • Devonta Freeman

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Odell Beckham Jr
  • Brandin Cooks
  • Golden Tate
  • Anquan Boldin

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Julius Thomas
  • Charles Clay

Kicker (2/1)

  • Greg Zuerlein
  • Graham Gano

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Texans Def
  • Packers Def

Team 8

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Matt Ryan
  • Robert Griffin III

Running Backs (3/2)

  • CJ Anderson
  • Andre Ellington
  • Chris Ivory

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Julian Edelman
  • Vincent Jackson
  • Brandon Marshall
  • Brandon LaFell

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Rob Gronkowski
  • Richard Rodgers

Kicker (2/1)

  • Phil Dawson
  • Dan Bailey

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Ravens Def
  • Browns Def

Team 9

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Eli Manning
  • Teddy Bridgewater

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Jeremy Hill
  • Jonathan Stewart
  • Tevin Coleman

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Dez Bryant
  • Keenan Allen
  • DeSean Jackson
  • Rueben Randle

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Jason Witten
  • Owen Daniels

Kicker (2/1)

  • Blair Walsh
  • Sebastian Janikowski

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Broncos Def
  • Giants Def

Team 10

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Ryan Tannehill
  • Alex Smith

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Arian Foster
  • Joseph Randle
  • Joique Bell

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Demaryius Thomas
  • TY Hilton
  • Jarvis Landry
  • Devin Funchess

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Delanie Walker
  • Jordan Reed

Kicker (2/1)

  • Randy Bullock
  • Brandon McManus

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Panthers Def
  • Chiefs Def

Team 11

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Drew Brees
  • Matthew Stafford

Running Backs (3/2)

  • LeSean McCoy
  • TJ Yeldon
  • CJ Spiller

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Julio Jones
  • Emmanuel Sanders
  • Roddy White
  • Breshad Perriman

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Martellus Bennett
  • Tyler Eifert

Kicker (2/1)

  • Dustin Hopkins
  • Nick Folk

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Jets Def
  • Jaguars Def

Team 12

Quarterbacks (2/1)

  • Ben Roethlisberger
  • Marcus Mariota

Running Backs (3/2)

  • Todd Gurley
  • Latavius Murray
  • LeGarrette Blount

Wide Receivers (4/3)

  • Randall Cobb
  • Calvin Johnson
  • Amari Cooper
  • Malcom Floyd

Tight Ends (2/1)

  • Heath Miller
  • Kyle Rudolph

Kicker (2/1)

  • Justin Tucker
  • Connor Barth

Defense/Special Teams (2/1)

  • Cardinals Def
  • Steelers Def

Personally, I’m a huge fan of Team 11. Everyone seems to be sleeping on Drew Brees this season.

Song that will forever be tied to the NBA playoffs

Was wrestling good last night?

Yes.

Get Hype Game of the Night

Barcelona vs. Malaga — 2:30 p.m. — BEIN Sports

Barcelona is going to have to make some adjustments with Pedro heading off to Chelsea.

A cure for what AILs me

I should  probably preface this post by saying that I’m not writing this to explicitly call American Income Life a pyramid scheme run by sheisty individuals. I’m sure it’s a perfectly legitimate company that employs plenty of nice people. If you happen to come to an independent conclusion that American Income Life is a pyramid scheme run by sheisty individuals, that’s on you.

I just want to talk about a bizarre experience I went through.

Now many of you know that despite having a stable and rewarding career as an Adventure Golf Specialist, I have been looking for full-time work. That means sending out a lot of applications, posting my resume on job boards, and halfheartedly following the advice of others. It’s a really taxing process.

Every once in a while, I’ll receive a call from an insurance company asking me to  sell my soul and probably some insurance along with it. So far, I’ve politely declined. I’m a dreamer, after all.

What was really odd about this call though, was how vague the recruiter was about this job. I’ll do my best paraphrasing of the call. Keep in mind that this might not be entirely accurate.

Recruiter: Hi, my name is Big Stupid Dumb Face from Fisher and Associates, and I’m calling about your resume on Monster.com.

Me: Okay.

Recruiter: I actually don’t have it on me, do you have any managing experience?

Me: Yeah, a little.

Recruiter: Would you like to be a manager?

Me: Not specifically, but it would be alright, I guess.

Recruiter: Alright, good. So the next step is I want you to come down for an interview. It’s scheduled for Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. Alright, bye.

And that was it. Needless to say, I was a little wary. I had never heard of Fisher and Associates, but I’m admittedly not up on my insurance game.

Everyone I knew said that I should go, and I agreed with them. In a world of infinite possibilities, there was always a slight chance that this experience would not suck.

So I went to the interview and filled out their stupid personality test. Well actually, “interview” seems like a pretty strong word. It was more like a sales pitch. I sat in a room with about 15 other potential marks and listened to this guy drone on and on about residual income.

It was pretty much everything included in this slick video package.

Now I would never accuse a video package of lying to me, but none of this seemed right. The longer this salesman talked, the more pyramid scheme tropes he would trot out.

1. Pay for your own licensing fees.

2. Retire in 10 years.

3. Listen to your mentors and you will succeed.

4. Look how rich we’re all going to be!

I was insulted. Not just because they were trying to lure me into a pyramid, but because they weren’t upfront with it. There was mention of quick promotions, but nothing about recruiting others. If you’re going to pitch me a con, don’t insult my intelligence. I will not be your mark.

So I left that office as soon as the presentation was over. A part of me wishes I would have stuck around, but I didn’t want to be around these people any longer.

But hey, that’s just my side of the story. As a responsible journalist, I have a duty to let American Income Life respond. So here is their CEO, who is totally not some sort of weasel-person hybrid, to tell you how legitimate American Income Life is. All companies have to make videos like this. It is not weird at all.

Sounds convincing to me!

“Today isn’t that great,” and other hot takes I didn’t want to write about but Lauzon won’t leave me alone

Okay, a programming note real quick. I’m not going to be doing this every day anymore because it leads to me feeling burnt out and guilty for hounding you on social media.

But I’m willing to indulge everyone today because “May 2” has been pounded into everyone’s head as the greatest sports day ever. I’m here to put a damper on all the excitement. This day is entirely media-orchestrated, and the only cool thing about couldn’t possibly have been planned for by anyone involved.

But hey, I’ll break it down piece by piece for you so you know where I’m coming from.

7:45 a.m.

Newcastle United vs. Leicester City

So the day starts (if you’re a real sports fan) with this tilt between some lowly Premier League sides. Quite a curtain-jerker you’ve got going on there, May 2.

This game already happened and it was alright, I guess. Leicester played like a championship-quality team, while Newcastle played like a Championship-quality team. There were calls all game for Carver to be sacked. Times are tough for Newcastle.

10:00 a.m.

QPR vs. Liverpool

This game is going on right now. Coutinho continued his good form this season with a wonderful goal somewhere around the 20th minute. That’s all that’s really happened so far.

It is important to note that before the match there was a banner above the stadium calling for Brendan Rodgers’ job. Now I’m all for overreacting and firing head coaches, but this seems a little too harsh. There’s nothing wrong with the Europa League, Liverpool.

Oh, QPR is level now.

12:00 p.m.

NFL Draft

ESPN is going to be showing the NFL Draft today from 12 p.m. until 8 p.m. For those keeping track at home, that’s eight hours of the draft. And this was one of ESPN’s selling points on why this day was so great.

“Hey guys, May 2 is going to have all of these great sporting events you need to care about. Oh, by the way, we will be showing the same thing for eight hours.”

It’s not even the fun part of the draft, either. This is the part of the draft where the only thing moving on the screen is the ticker.

Really captivating television.

12:30 p.m.

West Brom vs. Manchester United and Capitals vs. Rangers

At least NBC is giving you variety today. They’re even using CNBC to give you some soccery goodness. I wish they were using CNBC to give me another season of Money Talks. If you’ve never seen it, I think there are episodes on YouTube.

It’s the best/worst show that used to be on TV.

Before we move on, I have to take back what I said about ESPN. They just aired an NBA playoffs commercial featuring Fabolous’ Breathe.

That song is too good.

Oh god nevermind, Darren Rovell is on TV.

4:00 p.m.

Various horses racing each other

Sweet, an outdated sport that doesn’t have any relevance except for one day a year! I bet we won’t see anymore of that today!

In all seriousness, I like watching both horse racing and boxing, but using these two sports to sell today as something special is ridiculous.

This isn’t the sixties, there are better things on TV. Besides, the Kentucky Derby is only two minutes long. Get on Twitter, and tune in just before the races you care about. That’ll show ’em.

8:00 p.m.

Spurs vs. Clippers

This.

This is the reason for today to matter.

Game 7. The reigning champs versus (in my opinion) the second-best team in the West (league). This is going to be awesome. As I’ve said before, I think the Clippers are going to pull this one out.

11:20 p.m.

Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Do not give either of these men money.

I mean, watch the fight, but don’t pay for it. Mayweather is a bad person, and this has actually been incorporated into the build-up. But having Floyd play heel doesn’t automatically make Manny a babyface.

Pacquiao has a history of homophobia, which is compounded by the fact that he’s a government official in the Philippines.

Eh, actually, forget about it. I want Manny to knock Floyd out.

The Yeezys are in stores today

Hey kids, do you like Kanye West? I know I do.

Do you also have $350 lying around? Of course you do! Well friend, you’re in luck, because the Adidas Yeezy 750 Boosts are in stores today. Yes, those weird boot things at the top of the page.

These shoes mark Kanye’s first venture into the shoe market with Adidas after the rapper left Nike in 2013. I’m pretty disappointed this wasn’t a crazy Jeremy Scott collab, though. I’d pay $350 for sneakers with the Dropout Bear on them.

As for the Yeezys that are actually out today, they look like space boots. Not like actual boots that actual space people wear in space, but they look like what future space colonists would casually wear on their feet. I guess I should have said future boots.

Either way, I can’t justify spending $350 on these right now. If you can, I’d love to see them in person.

I am always in support of rappers who go out and get shoe deals. It reminds me of a better time.

Get Hype Game of the Night

Arkansas vs. Kentucky – 4:00 – CBS

This is a huge test for the undefeated Wildcats. Arkansas comes into town with a 7-game winning streak.

PICK: Kentucky.

Links

Fantasy Baseball

NCAA Tournament Pool