Category: Waste of Time Wednesday

I think I just paid off my student loan

creighton-university

It’s not often that I have a major life event to update this blog with.

It’s even more rare to have it be such a positive one, so allow me to bask in the glow of this accomplishment for at least one post.

Yes, like the title says, I just finished paying off my student loans. I think.

Now, if you’ve come to this blog post looking to find some secret to freeing yourself from the shackles of debt, I’m afraid I have some bad news.

I didn’t do anything extraordinary. I just got a job and made steady payments.

There were, however, a number of factors that allowed me to do this.

  1. I had parents willing to take on a parent loan. This was a huge advantage for me, and I understand that a lot of students don’t have this luxury. Not to gloat too much about my wonderful parents, but they actually helped put three kids through college. Let the record show that I was against them helping Shelby and Joe.
  2. I spent a year (Fact Check: 3 years) living rent-free in my childhood bedroom after college. Despite the negative connotations of living at home as an adult, this really was an ideal living situation. I always had food, my laundry was done, and there was unlimited access to the family pets. Plus, these years cemented my status as my parents’ favorite child.
  3. The final piece of the puzzle, my memere made sure to give each of the Bourgault children a savings bond on Christmas and their respective birthdays. I had completely forgotten about this money until my mom found the bonds earlier this month.

Well, if you’ve kept reading this far, I figure I might as well regale you with the tale of how I went about possibly finishing off my student loans.

It all started around 7:30 this morning, when I woke up in a panic on a living room couch in the ice cream castle. I had fallen asleep the previous night while watching baseball, forgetting to set an alarm.

Luckily, I managed to wake up an hour and a half before my dentist appointment.

After arriving precisely 13 minutes late, my appointment went off without a hitch. A loose retainer wire was removed, but other than that, my teeth are fine. Thank you for asking.

I walked into the bank with a stack of roughly 36 savings bonds.

A word of caution if you ever decide to do this, they will make you fill out the back of each bond (Signature, address, social security number) before you can cash them in. It took me half an hour. Never had I been less proud to be from “Old Orchard Beach.”

Come to think of it, I should have asked the guy if “OOB” was fine.

Anyway, about an hour later I got the call that the money had been transferred into my account. This was the moment had been waiting for.

I logged into my student loan account using the credentials that were saved to the same Google doc where I keep a list of when my groceries expire.

From there, I was able to submit a payment to get rid of the rest of the balance on my loan.

The transaction is still pending, but I’m sure it will work out for the best. Expect a blog update if it doesn’t, of course.

There’s not much left to do but wait at this point. I spent my whole shift at work thinking about writing this self-indulgent blog post in celebration.

Now here I am, sitting in the same living room where my day started, watching hockey and eating McDonald’s.

I wish there was some significance to my meal, like McDonald’s was my first meal in college or it’s a reminder that a debt-free Matt can stay humble and eat off the dollar menu. In reality, I just wanted McDonald’s, and I’m an adult who can get it whenever I want.

Maybe that’s the moral of this story, that I’m more of an adult now.

Nah, it’s that Creighton University won’t be getting any more of my money.

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An unhelpful guide to the 2019 NCAA Tournament

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Yes folks, once again March is upon us, and that means it’s time for the NCAA Tournament.

Millions of people in the United States are excited to celebrate the annual festival of getting to prove to that the people in the office who spend all day talking about sports really don’t know that much more than everyone else.

I joke, but it cannot be overstated how much the NCAA Tournament is a total crap-shoot.

That’s why people like Warren Buffet can offer you $1 billion for a perfect bracket.

You won’t get it.

I won’t get it.

That being said, let me tell you exactly what is going to happen.

East Region

1. Duke

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Zion Williamson

ANALYSIS: Duke are perennial villains, but there is a caveat this season. Zion Williamson might be the most fun basketball man to ever basketball, and I wish him all the best in the NBA next season. For now though, I can’t root for him because Coach K was a dick to me once.

PREDICTION: National Runner-Up

2. Michigan State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Cassius Winston

ANALYSIS: Coach to the Izzo once again has his Michigan State squad poised to make a deep run in the tournament. Maybe it’s because I didn’t watch much BIG 10 basketball this season, but I’m not really impressed. Michigan State will be going home early.

PREDICTION: Second Round

3. Louisiana State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Skylar Mays

ANALYSIS: LSU will be without their head coach for the NCAA Tournament after he was caught on a wire tap in an alleged pay-for-play scheme. It’s going to be real embarrassing when they lose to a bunch of nerds in the first round.

PREDICTION: First Round

4. Virginia Tech

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Kerry Blackshear Jr.

ANALYSIS: Virginia Tech has been competitive in the ACC all season, even beating a Zion-less Duke squad. I just don’t know how I feel trusting a football school when it comes to tournament time. Or at least a football school that focuses on special teams.

PREDICTION: First Round

5. Mississippi State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Quinndary Weatherspoon

ANALYSIS: Mississippi State is bolstered by the fact that their best player also has a very fun name. That kind of synergy can be a potent combination in March. Look for the Bulldogs to make it to the second weekend.

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

6. Maryland

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Bruno Fernando

ANALYSIS: Maryland was the toughest team for me to figure out in this tournament. I honestly believe they would have lost to Temple in the first round if that’s who they had to face. As it is though, I think the matchups work out nicely for Maryland to go deep into March (or April, whenever the Elite Eight is).

PREDICTION: Elite Eight

7. Louisville

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jordan Nwora

ANALYSIS: Maryland’s gain is Louisville’s loss. The Cardinals won’t make the Elite Eight, but they will last longer than Rick Pitino in an Italian restaurant.

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

8. Virginia Commonwealth

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Marcus Santos-Silva

ANALYSIS: VCU is led by a couple of Marcuses, which is rare outside of the Boston Celtics. Much like the Celtics, I expect them to win a game before losing the next one.

PREDICTION: Second Round

9. Central Florida

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: B.J. Taylor

ANALYSIS: B.J. Taylor is the best player on UCF, but he might not be the first one you notice. Tacko Fall is a giant man, and it will be fun to watch him play in the one game we get to see him. Hopefully he can make his way to the NBA after this season.

PREDICTION: First Round

10. Minnesota

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jordan Murphy

ANALYSIS: Minnesota is one of four 10 seeds who I believe will get shafted by the exceptionally strong 7 seeds in this tournament. As much as I like saying “Go Gophs!” I can’t get behind them.

PREDICTION: First Round

11. Belmont

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Dylan Windler

ANALYSIS: Belmont beat Temple, which was no easy feat. Unfortunately, I don’t think they match up well with Maryland, so they’ll be going home early.

PREDICTION: First Round

12. Liberty

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Scottie James

ANALYSIS: Liberty is a wonderful university, and I would never say anything bad about it or its wonderful president, Jerry Falwell Jr. Every good American should support this righteous school on its quest from God.

PREDICTION: First Round

13. Saint Louis

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Javon Bess

ANALYSIS: Saint Louis were supposed to be world-beaters in the Atlantic 10 this season. They didn’t look so good in conference play, but turned their whole season around during the conference tournament. I think that can carry the Billikens into the second round.

PREDICTION: Second Round

14. Yale

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Miye Oni

ANALYSIS: Yale is a fast, smart team who I fell in love with after watching the Ivy League championship game. I think they can get past a coachless LSU squad, but any further would be a miracle.

PREDICTION: Second Round

15. Bradley

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Darrell Brown

ANALYSIS: I got to watch Bradley play in person my first three years of college. I doubt they’ve gotten any better since then.

PREDICTION: First Round

16. North Dakota State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Vinnie Shahid

ANALYSIS: The Bison are a powerhouse football school, but even then I think Zion and company would win by three touchdowns.

PREDICTION: First Round

South Region

1. Virginia

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: De’Andre Hunter

ANALYSIS: Virginia plays ugly basketball, but that’s been their brand for a while now. They have the defense to beat anybody, but their slow pace keeps them from coming back if they get down early. This formula can only work for so long.

PREDICTION: Elite Eight

2. Tennessee

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Grant Williams

ANALYSIS: Tennessee is the top team that I trust the least heading into this tournament. Maybe it’s the pants they wear on the sideline. That’s gotta be it.

PREDICTION: First Round

3. Purdue

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Carsen Edwards

ANALYSIS: Purdue are perennial disappointments in March. But if there goal is to make it to the Sweet Sixteen, I think they get there. They can’t possibly think they’re going to win the whole thing, right?

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

4. Kansas State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Barry Brown

ANALYSIS: The Michael Beasley of colleges has had a fantastic year, but I can’t see Kansas State making it to the second weekend this season.

PREDICTION: Second Round

5. Wisconsin

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Ethan Happ

ANALYSIS: The Badgers are like the anti-Purdue, always making it a step further than they’re supposed to. This season, that’s the Sweet Sixteen. On Wisconsin!

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

6. Villanova

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Phil Booth

ANALYSIS: The Wildcats were once again the best team in a very mediocre Big East this season. So while my Creighton Bluejays have the pleasure of winning the NIT, Nova get to be bounced in the first round of the NCAA tournament.

PREDICTION: First Round

7. Cincinnati

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jarron Cumberland

ANALYSIS: They’re bears. They’re cats. Cincinnati is the best of both worlds, and that will be the difference against Zion Williamson and the Dukies. Now if only I could remember how to spell “Cincinnati” on the first try.

PREDICTION: National Champions

8. Mississippi

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Breein Tyree

ANALYSIS: How would you even go about pronouncing that kid’s name? Bree-in? Bree-anne? Breen? Can you tell I’m sleep deprived?

PREDICTION: Second Round

9. Oklahoma

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Kristian Doolittle

ANALYSIS: For real, it’s 3 a.m. and I’m not even halfway done. Are you even reading this? I’m falling asleep listening to Keith Sweat and trying to pretend to care about Oklahoma basketball.

PREDICTION: First Round

10. Iowa

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Joe Wieskamp

ANALYSIS: Iowa is the first team who could completely derail my national champion, and for that I wish them all of the ills in the world. I hope they get lost on the way to the arena.

PREDICTION: First Round

11. Saint Mary’s

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jordan Ford

ANALYSIS: Eye test Saint Mary’s isn’t that impressive, but they are analytics darlings. That’s gotta be worth a win, right?

PREDICTION: Second Round

12. Oregon

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Payton Pritchard

ANALYSIS: Without Bol Bol, do we even care about Dana Altman’s team? The answer is no. The people want Bol Bol.

PREDICTION: First Round

13. UC Irvine

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jonathan Galloway

ANALYSIS: They’re Anteaters! That’s fun! Pretend you’re having fun with me!

PREDICTION: First Round

14. Old Dominion

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Ahmad Caver

ANALYSIS: I just sat on my bed for a second and it felt amazing. I really need to finish this. Let’s all agree not to care about Old Dominion.

PREDICTION: First Round

15. Colgate

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Rapolas Ivanauskas

ANALYSIS: Colgate is a team built to upset one of the big boys. The Patriot League champs shoot from distance exceptionally well, and I think a hot streak could push them through to the second round.

PREDICTION: Second Round

16. Gardner-Webb

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: David Efianayi

ANALYSIS: Someone seriously just sent me a Sanpchat. What are you doing? It’s so late, go to bed!

PREDICTION: First Round

Midwest Region

1. North Carolina

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Cameron Johnson

ANALYSIS: The Midwest is easily the most open of the NCAA Tournament regions, but North Carolina has proven they have the mettle to crawl out of this quarter of the bracket. Unfortunately, that’s probably as far as they will get.

PREDICTION: Final Four

2. Kentucky

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: PJ Washington

ANALYSIS: Kentucky’s team have been extremely forgettable of late. I’m sure they have an NBA diamond hidden in the rough, but I feel like Duke has stolen all of their freshman swagger.

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

3. Houston

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Corey Davis Jr.

ANALYSIS: College basketball is in a better place when Houston is doing well. They play an exciting, high-octane brand of basketball that is a stark contrast to their AAC counterparts.

PREDICTION: Second Round

4. Kansas

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Dedric Lawson

ANALYSIS: It feels weird to see Kansas as a 4-seed, but this is emblematic of their season. The Jayhawks never got their act together, and that means an early exit before the second weekend.

PREDICTION: Second Round

5. Auburn

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jared Harper

ANALYSIS: The Auburn Tigers are on a roll heading into the NCAA Tournament. Bruce Pearl’s team has won eight straight games and shoots the 3-ball at an astounding clip. Don’t be surprised to see the Tigers in the Sweet Sixteen.

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

6. Iowa State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Marial Shayok

ANALYSIS: My new-found hatred for Iowa has carried on to Iowa State. Let’s get rid of them both. Fire the entire state into the sun.

PREDICTION: First Round

7. Wofford

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Fletcher Magee

ANALYSIS: Wofford is just fun to say. Try it. Wofford. WOFFORD. That’s good stuff.

PREDICTION: Second Round

8. Utah State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Sam Merrill

ANALYSIS: The lone representative from basketball-crazy (and normal crazy) Utah, the Aggies will have a tough task ahead of them. Hopefully none of their fans will yell at Russell Westbrook when they lose.

PREDICTION: First Round

9. Washington

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jaylen Nowell

ANALYSIS: The Huskies have disappointed every time they’ve been on my TV, but I gotta think there must be a reason they were ranked this season. Let’s hope that Washington shows up in the first round.

PREDICTION: Second Round

10. Seton Hall

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Myles Powell

ANALYSIS: The Pirates leveraged a strong Big East Tournament run into a decent seed in the NCAA Tournament. Wofford is the 7-seed you’d want to draw, but I still don’t buy Seton Hall as a team that can make noise this season.

PREDICTION: First Round

11. Ohio State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Kaleb Wesson

ANALYSIS: I am probably higher on Ohio State than anybody else in the country, and I think most of that stems from them beating Creighton this fall. I want to believe that was a meaningful loss.

PREDICTION: Elite Eight

12. New Mexico State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Terrell Brown

ANALYSIS: It’s a little odd to have no 12-5 upsets, but I just think the 5-seeds are too strong this season. New Mexico State is a balanced team, but that just isn’t enough.

PREDICTION: First Round

13. Northeastern

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jordan Roland

ANALYSIS: If I’m being honest, I skipped over Northeastern in my first draft of this blog post. Nothing of value would have been lost.

PREDICTION: First Round

14. Georgia State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Malik Benlevi

ANALYSIS: RJ Hunter is not walking through that door, probably because he plays for the Maine Red Claws right now. Even if he does walk through said door, he’s no longer eligible to play.

PREDICTION: First Round

15. Abiline Christian

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jaren Lewis

ANALYSIS: The Wildcats made the NCAA Tournament in only their third year of eligibility. I’d be impressed, if I wasn’t so tired.

PREDICTION: First Round

16. Iona

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: E.J. Crawford

ANALYSIS: Iona looks too much like Iowa. I don’t want anything to do with them.

PREDICTION: First Round

West Region

1. Gonzaga

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Brandon Clarke

ANALYSIS: Until Gonzaga can actually win a national title, the perception of them will be of a paper tiger. Unfortunately, I don’t think this is their year.

PREDICTION: Second Round

2. Michigan

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jon Teske

ANALYSIS: Last year’s National Runner-Up was even better during the course of this season. Things got rockier in conference play, but Michigan has the tools to make it into the second weekend.

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

3. Texas Tech

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jarrett Culver

ANALYSIS: The Red Raiders play stifling defense, forcing their opponents into a slow, half-court style. It’s not pretty, but it’s effective. Like Steve Buscemi.

PREDICTION: Final Four

4. Florida State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Terance Mann

ANALYSIS: Florida State has a ton of long athletes who can shut down opponents. They are the perfect prototype for football schools looking to find a basketball identity.

PREDICTION: Elite Eight

5. Marquette

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Markus Howard

ANALYSIS: Markus Howard is one of my favorite players in the country to watch. The problem is I don’t know how Marquette will perform when they run into a long, athletic team like Florida State.

PREDICTION: Second Round

6. Buffalo

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: C.J. Massinburg

ANALYSIS: C.J. Massinburg is a problem for anyone who underestimates the Bulls. He has the ability to go off for 40 points if that’s what his team needs to win.

PREDICTION: Second Round

7. Nevada

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Caleb Martin

ANALYSIS: Caleb Martin and his twin brother Cody are hoping a little twin magic will help them get to the second weekend again this year. Spoiler alert: it won’t.

PREDICTION: Second Round

8. Syracuse

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Tyus Battle

ANALYSIS: It wouldn’t be Syracuse basketball without some controversy before the NCAA Tournament. With starting point guard Frank Howard suspended, it’s up to Tyus Battle to carry the Orange deep into the tournament.

PREDICTION: Sweet Sixteen

9. Baylor

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Jared Butler

ANALYSIS: Does anyone like Baylor? What an awful institution.

PREDICTION: First Round

10. Florida

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Kevarrius Hayes

ANALYSIS: Florida was inconsistent all season, but is capable of playing with anyone. Well, almost anyone. Not Nevada.

PREDICTION: First Round

11. Arizona State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Zylan Cheatham

ANALYSIS: No.

PREDICTION: First Round

12. Murray State

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Ja Morant

ANALYSIS: Morant will likely be the second pick in this year’s NBA Draft, where Phoenix will waste his talent. I can’t wait.

PREDICTION: First Round

13. Vermont

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Anthony Lamb

ANALYSIS: The America East champions dominated in their conference tournament, but the NCAA Tournament is an entirely different beast.

PREDICTION: First Round

14. Northern Kentucky

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Drew McDonald

ANALYSIS: Are there a lot of Norse people in northern Kentucky? Will someone explain this mascot tom me please?

PREDICTION: First Round

15. Montana

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Ahmaad Rorie

ANALYSIS: The Grizzlies are good, but sooner or later, it’s Copenhagen.

PREDICTION: First Round

16. Fairleigh Dickinson

FUN BASKETBALL MAN: Darnell Edge

ANALYSIS: I’m going to bed now.

PREDICTION: First Round

bracket

Everything’s coming up Milhouse

I’ve been in a funk for the last two months. Dealing with this new job, while still working at Pirate’s Cove, left me with very little free time. And what free time I did have, I spent sleeping.

It was a very taxing experience, being “Mr. No Days Off.” I don’t know how Darren Young does it.

I lost track of time. Everything just blended together as one long work day. I felt like I was on a terrible ride and I couldn’t get off.

But now, Pirate’s Cove is done for the season. As much as I’ll miss it, it’s nice to be able to have my weekends back.

And the timing couldn’t be better, as Regis is back home from his 12th different job. Now I can do everything I’ve missed out on the past couple months, like play poker and go golfing, or maybe stop by a bar to watch a game.

I feel like I’m a real person again. I can’t even express how happy I am right now. It’s all positive from here on out.

Link for you to click on

Fantasy basketball

Song for losing track of what day it is

Get Hype Game of the Night!

Rangers vs. Blue Jays – 4:07 p.m. – FS1

The Blue Jays were able to stave off elimination for two straight games on the road. Hamels faces Stroman in the fifth and final game of the series.

The Playa Hater’s NHL Preview

The NHL season starts tonight, so you officially have something to watch if the baseball playoffs aren’t your thing. That also means we’re about a month away from the NBA starting up again, but we’ll deal with things one at a time for right now.

Here are my predicted standings for this season.

Atlantic Division

  1. Tampa Bay Lightning*
  2. Montreal Canadiens*
  3. Ottawa Senators*
  4. Detroit Red Wings*
  5. Boston Bruins
  6. Florida Panthers
  7. Toronto Maple Leafs
  8. Buffalo Sabres

Metropolitan Division

  1. New York Rangers*
  2. Washington Capitals*
  3. New York Islanders*
  4. Pittsburgh Penguins*
  5. Columbus Blue Jackets
  6. Philadelphia Flyers
  7. New Jersey Devils
  8. Carolina Hurricanes

Central Division

  1. St. Louis Blues*
  2. Chicago Blackhawks*
  3. Minnesota Wild*
  4. Nashville Predators*
  5. Winnipeg Jets*
  6. Dallas Stars
  7. Colorado Avalanche

Pacific Division

  1. Calgary Flames*
  2. Vancouver Canucks*
  3. Los Angeles Kings*
  4. Anaheim Ducks
  5. San Jose Sharks
  6. Edmonton Oilers
  7. Arizona Coyotes

Playoffs

 

Screenshot (1)

MVP: Carey Price

Link for you to click on

Fantasy Basketball

Song for being honest, but also real

Get Hype Game of the Night!

Cubs vs. Pirates – 8:08 p.m. – TBS

Arrieta has dominated Pittsburgh this season, allowing only four runs in 36 innings. He faces Gerrit Cole tonight.

Canadians, ranked.

Happy Canada Day, everybody! In honor of this very important holiday, I’ve decided to bring you the definitive list of Canadians.

1. My Dad

2. James Naismith

3. Wayne Gretzky

4. Steve Nash

5. Bret Hart

6. Larry Walker

7. John Regis

8. Warren Moon for a few years

9. Celine Dion

10. Alex Trebek

11. Seth Rogan

12. Keanu Reeves

13. Shania Twain

14. Rob Ford

15. Ellen Paige

16. Joni Mitchell

T-17. All other Canadians

35,344,945. Scott, he’s a dick.

Enjoy the rest of your Canada Day!

Fallout 4 is in Boston, and that’s pretty cool

I’ll start this off by admitting that I’ve never played any of the Fallout games, and it’s more than likely that I never will. But that’s okay, because the internet is abuzz with the latest trailer for this post-apocalyptic franchise.

This time around, the featured city is Boston, which is neat because that’s close to where I live. It’s not as cool as The Crew (which features Old Orchard Beach) or Google Maps (which features my house), but it’s still kinda cool.

The best parts of the trailer are when they show Fenway Park. It is the city’s best landmark, after all. The old stadium looks pretty metal as a post-apocalyptic stronghold.

In all honesty, I think I prefer this version of Boston to the current version. There’s no way the traffic could be worse.

Here is my audition for WWE’s Tough Enough

Today, when I probably should have been applying for a real job or something, I was browsing WWE’s Tough Enough site looking for Dino Winwood’s video. I couldn’t find it, but that’s a post for another time. I don’t have time to delve into the anti-Dino conspiracy right now.

For those of you who don’t know, Tough Enough is a WWE reality show where contestants try out to be the next big WWE superstar or diva. Well, actually, they’ll probably just send you to NXT, but that’s where a lot of people want to go now, anyway.

So while I was searching for Popo Chan’s video, I saw a familiar face on the front page. It was Natasha Kirby! A few thoughts ran through my mind:

1. Woah, she has one of the most watched videos. Natasha could actually win this thing.

2. How can I parlay her success into possible employment for me?

What can I say? I’m a natural heel.

So I decided to record my own Tough Enough audition video. Here it is.

My hope is that they start up a Maine-based stable (called Maine Event, duh) where we bore the crowd with inane facts about the Pine Tree State. It would be awesome.

I don’t know how the selection process works or if there’s even a voting mechanic to this thing, but make sure you tag all of your tweets with #ToughEnough and #MatthewBourgault. I mean, you should probably use #NatashaKirby, because she actually has a shot of being picked.

But this isn’t about her, this is about me. Those divas can di-vacate the premises, brother.