This is my obligatory blog post announcing that I’ve climbed the corporate ladder sufficiently enough to start earning a salary. Good for me! And you, I guess, if you’ve supported me in the past. Good for you.
I will now be going by the spiffy new title of Web Content Producer. This position comes with a whole host of benefits and other corporate things that I don’t completely understand. I can’t wait to meet with HR today so I can smile and nod my way through that conversation.
I start as soon as they hire someone to do my current job. I start my normal hours as soon as they hire someone to work weekends. So if you’re looking for a job in news, the least you can do is help me get the ball rolling on this.
Now, I know a lot of you are concerned about what this means for my Pirate’s Cove career. Fear not, as the most talented person on that roster, I will be returning to help whenever they need me.
Well maybe not whenever. I’ll be able to help if they need me during times that aren’t Mon-Fri, 3-11 p.m. It seems like a good compromise to me.
That’s all I’ve really got for you today. Feel free to leave the likes and comments that I’m so desperately fishing for with a post like this.
Song for when things are finally how they’re post to be
Get Hype Game of the Night!
North Carolina vs. Louisville – 7 p.m. – ESPN
The whole downside to this new job situation is that I’m pretty sure there isn’t a TV on the web desk. I’m going to miss watching games on a desk TV.
If you’ve read anything I’ve ever written, you know what this intro paragraph is about. I blog, and then sometimes I don’t blog, and then I write about how I’m going to blog again. I’ve done this so many times that I’m not even sure which comeback gimmicks I’ve already used.
This is despite the fact that my last comeback gimmick was a list of said gimmicks. It’s a great way to knock out 75 words.
Anyway, here’s the part where I tell you why I’m blogging again. It’s not because Matt Lauzon asked me too. It’s not because I like clogging your Facebook feed with my nonsense. It’s not because I secretly hope that someone of importance will discover my writing, like it, and put me on the fast track to never having to work again.
I do this because it makes me feel better. There’s a catharsis in being able to write about whatever I want, whenever I want. And there’s nothing better than when someone reaches out and tells me that my blog wasn’t the worst thing they read that day.
Do your part, people.
What I’m trying to say is that I’ve enjoyed all of the ups and downs that have come with 200 posts on the Playa Hater’s Blog. Maybe not enough to shell out the $18 for a domain name, but I’ve enjoyed it enough to type 200 more.
Song for debuting in the Royal Rumble
Get Hype Game of the Night
Spurs vs. Warriors – 10:30 p.m. – NBA TV
The two best basketball teams in the world square off in what will surely be a Western Conference Final preview. San Antonio comes into Oakland riding a 13-game winning streak. Golden State is 20-0 at home this season. Something has to give on a channel you might not have at a time you might not be awake.
A lot of important sports things happened yesterday. Arian Foster let me down, Brendan Rodgers was sacked, and Don Orsillo called his last game for the Red Sox on NESN.
That last one probably hurts the most. Orsillo was a major part of one of the best booths in baseball. His ability to call an objective and interesting game is second only to Vin Scully. And yet NESN has decided that they will not renew Orsillo’s contract.
Somehow Ken Harrelson still has a job.
Orsillo is so respected in the business that members of both the Red Sox and Indians had tributes for him yesterday.
Aside from his play-by-play ability, Boston will always remember the giggle fits common to a NESN broadcast. I’m serious, go to MLB’s YouTube channel and search “Orsillo.” There isn’t a dull moment.
A personal favorite is when Don was feeling really Texas.
The only clip you need, though, is the classic pizza toss. This is the NESN booth at its absolute best.
Have fun in San Diego, Don.
Link for you to click on
Song for throwing pizza
Get Hype Game of the Night!
Lions vs. Seahawks – 8:30 p.m. – ESPN
It’s not a great night for sports. The Lions have yet to win this season, while Seattle has won its last six games at home.
After this year’s Super Bowl, I briefly discussed how upset I get when the Patriots lose. I’m not sure why, but no matter what time there game was at, I spend the rest of that day sulking in my bed waiting for the sweet comfort of death.
Maybe it’s because there are so few games during the season. I don’t feel this way when the Celtics, Bruins, or Red Sox lose (Every. Single. Day.). There’s something about football that really sends be over the edge.
I’m writing this because I’m not even sure it’s restricted to real football anymore.
Yesterday, my fantasy team was massacred. I was expecting it (The squad won’t be at full strength until Arian Foster and Antonio Gates start playing.), but there is still that extra twinge of sadness that lingers. Like, maybe if I weren’t such an incompetent fake GM, my fake team wouldn’t lose.
Cam Newton, Brandin Cooks, Jeremy Maclin, and Larry Donnell all under performed, while Bishop Sankey, Danny Woodhead, and Jordan Reed had a touchdown party on my bench. The Newton thing hurts the most, because I was so close to changing my team name to “Killa Cam” and making my logo a picture of Cam’ron.
I still might do it.
For now, though, I’m just left with my losses and my sadness.
I hate sports. They’re the best.
Links for you to click on.
Song for getting over a fantasy loss.
Get Hype Game of the Night!
Astros vs. Rangers — 8:00 p.m. — MLB Network
Rangers’ bats have come alive down the stretch. Scott Kazmir faces Cole Hamels. Maybe I’m still salty about football.
So I’ve been at my new job long enough that people are starting to want to get to know me. The questions are pretty innocuous, until things turn to, “So what do you want to do, career-wise?” I don’t really have an answer for this. I’d like to be able to write, but beyond that, I don’t know.
This got me thinking, if my true dream is for some big-wig to discover my writing and give me lots of money, I’m going to need to start writing again. I came to this decision on my own. Lauzon had no part in this one.
So, in honor of getting this blog going again, I’ve compiled a list of the top nine times I got this blog going again. I hope you’ll enjoy.
9. This post
Sorry, me, but you don’t get any points for being meta. This post is swell and all, but we really need to see how it stands the test of time. That being said, I think the new gimmicks in addition to an old favorite are the perfect fit for this blog.
As much as this was a life-changing moment, the post is pretty lame. You don’t blog for a month, and then you come back with some anecdote about a TV? Step your game up, me.
7. Sports on TV
This was my first (non-Olympic) foray into the “telling people what’s on TV” space. Despite my foolish belief that I could type every event down, there isn’t actually that much writing in the post. It was the debut of the “Get Hype Game of the Night” though.
This was the first time I told myself I would blog every day. I’m pretty sure it didn’t even last a week.
After my keyboard succumbed to water damage, I had to type this post using a mouse. It was a tedious as it sounds. This post does get bonus points for Ovechkin rapping, though.
Because no one talks with me about this site more than him, I felt it was only right to give Matt Lauzon a shout-out in a post. I don’t know if anyone ever reached out to him after I posted that, but it never hurts to try.
3. Joe’s takes
Not only did I give Lauzon a shout-out (I posted his Facebook) in this post, but I got my brother Joe involved as well. I’m a big fan of the “Joe’s takes” gimmick. It forces that weirdo to play the straight man and I love how uncomfortable he is in that role.
After a long stay at Hitchcock Blogs, I made my triumphant return here. Well, maybe it wasn’t all that triumphant. The team I had #1 in my NHL preview didn’t even make the playoffs. For those wondering, I had the Blackhawks at #4.
I know it’s a cop out. just deal with it.
Anyway, I think it’s time to introduce you to some new gimmicks that make me laugh.
Song by a B-list R&B singer who’s name starts with J
Was wrestling good last night?
And finally, here’s an old favorite:
Get Hype Game of the Night
Arsenal vs. Liverpool – 3 p.m. – NBC Sports Network
This is your Premier League match of the week. Watch for Benteke to lead the charge for Liverpool after scoring in their win last week.
If you’ve read my work for a while now, you know that I’m a big fan of the AMC drama Mad Men. Over the last few seasons, I’ve made sure to cobble together a few live chats so my fans and I could have sophisticated discussions about the show.
I wanted to do a live chat for the finale last night, I really did. But unfortunately, my sister had the audacity to graduate from college yesterday, and I didn’t make it home in time.
I’ve tried to avoid social media for the most part until I have time to watch the episode, but we all know how impossible that is. A check of Twitter here, Facebook there, it’s going to happen eventually. The internet is too intertwined with our lives for it to not happen.
So of course, because Mad Men is a very popular show, I saw some people in my social circle posting about it. I don’t say this about them like it’s a bad thing. An event happened and they commented on it. I would do the same. But there is one thing I’d like to say to them.
I can’t remember the last time I lived with a fear of spoilers looming over me, but this experience has been a lot more pleasant than everyone makes it out to be. Each post I’ve seen, from Twitter to Facebook to the front page of Yahoo!, has been vague enough that I have no idea what goes on in the final episode.
Really good job, you guys.
I can’t wait until I go to basketball tonight and someone ruins this for me.
So, things got really weird last week. I turned down two “job” offers, which seems pretty counter-intuitive to my current situation. I put “job” in quotations because I believe that a job is work that you are paid for, and neither of these positions filled the second requirement.
My friends wanted me to take them, arguing that I was just spinning my tires anyway posting on my own site for free. Little did they know that I was actually parked with my feet off the pedals.
So, after some quick workshopping with my biggest fan (it was only a few text messages), I have decided to turn on the car and start spinning again. If you’re looking to blame someone for my terrible writing clogging up your Twitter and Facebook feeds, I would say Matt Lauzon is responsible for this.
Much like Carey Price is responsible for the Habs reaching the second round of the playoffs (great segue, genius). I’ve been praising Price’s play all season, and it will be a tragedy if he doesn’t win the Hart Trophy because of that award’s silly anti-goalie bias.
Honestly, if I were in charge of the Hart, a goalie would win almost every season. It would take an Ovechkin in 2007-08 performance for me to look at a skater. To me, it’s like an exaggerated version of the “pitchers shouldn’t win MVPs” argument from baseball.
Both pitchers and goalies have a high-profile award of their own, so people tend to keep them out of the running for MVPs. What makes this flawed logic even worse in hockey is that top goalies play a majority of their team’s games. Having Carey Price in net is like being able to throw Clayton Kershaw on the mound for 80 percent of your games. How is that guy not the MVP?
Anyway, here are the sports to watch tonight. For those who don’t know, “HL” stands for “Hype Level” in which games are measured on a 0-10 hype scale.
FLC – Bolton Wanderers vs. AFC Bournemouth – 2:45 – BEIN – HL: 2.3
ESPN 2 skipped over their usual sports coverage to show college kids playing Heroes of the Storm last night, which is pretty cool. Of course, whenever an ESPN channel decides to show non-sports (or anything in Spanish), Twitter starts to throw a tantrum.
I guess people forget that the “E” in “ESPN” stands for “Entertainment.” I can’t fully blame them, though, as I’ve been trying for about an hour to remember what the “P” stands for. It’s come to a point where I’ll feel bad about googling it. Somebody help me!
NHL – New York Islanders vs. Washington Capitals – 7:30 – NBCSN – HL: 8.7
Get Hype Game of the Night!
I really need to take a break from basketball. That sport is just getting out of hand. It’s like the refs will let them get away with anything.
Yesterday, I watched a man’s arm get ripped out of its socket. Then, I watched two other men take turns punching a guy whose only discernible crime was wearing “99” in the face. It was a bloodbath, man.
Tonight, I’m going to kick back and watch a relaxing game of hockey to calm my nerves.
NBA – Memphis Grizzlies vs. Portland Trail Blazers – 10:30 – TNT – HL: 8.5
I really miss the Jail Blazers. Every night, you not only got to watch a basketball game, but you could play a game of your own. I liked to call it, “Who’s high right now?”
This team is less fun, with their mid-range jumpers and their being model citizens and their being down 0-3. What they really need to do to get back in this series is take some drugs before they get to the stadium. That’ll psyche out all of those rascally Spanish players.