The Playa Hater’s NBA Preview

Hello, everyone! I’m back to lead you astray with another season preview. This time, I’m talking about basketball.

That video is ridiculous.

On a more serious note, professional basketball has a unique distinction among the major american sports. It’s almost fluke-proof. Better teams will win games based entirely on the premise that they are better. There’s nothing to change a game dramatically like a touchdown, home run, or goal. The game centers around a large sample size of possessions.

That being said, my predictions are going to look a lot like last year’s standings. It’s just the nature of the beast. I need you to remember that I’ll probably be wrong, though.

Atlantic Division

  1. Toronto Raptors*
  2. Boston Celtics*
  3. Brooklyn Nets
  4. Philadelphia 76ers
  5. New York Knicks

The Atlantic is a lot like the Northwest, in that it’s a weak division that will only yield two playoff teams. The Celtics show signs of improvement, which means they’ll inexplicably finish fighting the Detroit Pistons for the last playoff spot.

Central Division

  1. Cleveland Cavaliers*
  2. Chicago Bulls*
  3. Milwaukee Bucks*
  4. Indiana Pacers*
  5. Detroit Pistons

I like Indiana to make the playoffs. I think getting Paul George back will give them a leg to stand on.

Southeast Division

  1. Atlanta Hawks*
  2. Washington Wizards*
  3. Miami Heat
  4. Charlotte Hornets
  5. Orlando Magic

If the NBA preseason means anything, the Charlotte Hornets will win the championship. The NBA preseason does not mean anything.

Northwest Division

  1. Portland Trail Blazers*
  2. Oklahoma City Thunder*
  3. Utah Jazz
  4. Denver Nuggets
  5. Minnesota Timberwolves

Maybe I believe in Damian Lillard too much. Maybe I don’t trust the Thunder to stay healthy. Maybe I just wanted to throw in one crazy prediction so I could point to it if it hits. No one knows.

Pacific Division

  1. Golden State Warriors*
  2. Los Angeles Clippers*
  3. Phoenix Suns
  4. Sacramento Kings
  5. Los Angeles Lakers

I don’t think there’s anything I like more than the Lakers being awful.

Southwest Division

  1. San Antonio Spurs*
  2. Houston Rockets*
  3. Memphis Grizzlies*
  4. Dallas Mavericks*
  5. New Orleans Pelicans

Poor Pelicans. I just don’t think they can stay healthy enough to get back into the playoffs.

Playoffs

Screenshot (2)

MVP: James Harden

Song for making you google “Jose Feliciano”

Was wrestling good last night?

Yes.

Get Hype Game of the Night

Ravens vs. Cardinals – 8:30 p.m. – ESPN

The Cardinals lead the NFC in scoring. Both teams lost their last game.

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